Hey ya’ll! Happy Monday, if there is such a thing for the average cube humper.
Today started off with some SERIOUS temptation. Upon arriving at my awesome workplace (seriously, I work with some very nice people and it’s not that bad of a place, especially compared to some of the other shit holes I used to call home 8-5), I was greeted by the delicious smell of bacon. There it was, in all of its porky and greasy goodness, a steam table full of bacon accompanied by eggs, biscuits, gravy, the works!
I stopped for a split moment and thought, “ERMERGHARD BACON!” very quietly in my head. And then I kept walking.
Then I stopped for another nanosecond to analyze my sanity. How was I walking past all of those delicious goodies? Besides, if I was going to eat something naughty, shouldn’t it be a carb-gasm of food for breakfast so I have the rest of the day to burn it off?
Go ahead and call bullshit on that. Keep walking, I told myself. So I did.
I hurriedly rushed upstairs and to the microwave to heat up my steel cut oats. I thought if I heated them up quickly, the desire to eat bacon would disappear.
I took out my bowl of oats and tried to stir them. They were a big ass lump of beige nothingness, fighting hard against my company-provided plastic spoon. I poured in some almond milk to try to free the oats from their tight grasp to one another.
I nuked the oats for another 45 seconds and stirred and stirred and stirred some more. They loosened and then I stirred in 1 tablespoon of flax seed (what does this stuff do exactly anyway?) and a half tablespoon of brown sugar (cut me some slack…I just turned down BACON to eat OATS.)
The resulting mixture is very slightly sweet and deliciously chewy. I LOVE the texture of steel cut oats. I forgot to mention that I cooked the oats last night and then just portioned them out into plastic containers for breakfast. These are not quick oats; they take about 30 minutes to cook.
I hope my tale of bacon rejection gives you some much-needed motivation on this Monday.
The moral of the story is…if I can refuse bacon, you can do anything. 
Professor Phat 